Half Sweet n' Half Nuts

Do you remember the time...

Ok! So I was tagged by Unpredictable Mystic and I'm being a sport and getting it out of the way ASAP :)

(Truth - I can't think of anything to write about so this topic is as good as any. )

Here goes -

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Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like). Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better. Now don’t forget to read the archived posts and leave comments (Post comments here itself please!).

Sigh!

Family
I'm actually amazed that my family really hasn't made an appearance on my blog. So, this was all I could come up with - my dog ran away again a few weeks after this post and never came back. I didn't have the heart to eulogize him again so this is all that remains.
My only family close to me here (physically close) is my Genie and this is when she first became a part of my life. I still love her and I don't care what you think - she's family to me!

My mom, dad and brother shall continue to remain anonymous and unknown for now. For some reason I don't want to blog about them ... hmmm... I wonder why!

Friends
Oh! There are so many!! But I think this one, when I bid my roomies farewell, is the best. I still miss them so much! Muah to them!
And of course there was my post on my friends from another life. Here's raising my glass to them one more time!

Myself
Isn't this blog all about me??! Oh! well! Here you go -
- Things I'm grateful for
- Things that upset me
- Truth about me!

My Love
Unfortunately this is best I can come up with on love! I know! I know! It's pathetic!

My Faves
Ah! Way too many! But if I really must pick my three faves are -
- Circle of Life
- Every now and then
- Red
I wonder if there's a reason why they're all poems!

You know this is actually a fun tag! It felt really good to go through all my posts that I've published in the last year and half and re-live those moments :) I hope you enjoyed the trip down memory lane as much as I did!

Now who shall I tag?! Must I tag someone? I know none of my blog buddies are going to want to do this (except maybe Still searching who has already been tagged by Unpredictable Mystic :P and of course Unpredictable Mystic herself!) so I'm leaving it open. If any of you do want to do it let me know!! I'd love to walk with you down your own personal memory lane :)

Toodles!

Human beings are truly wonderful creatures, all-powerful and awe-inspiring. Over a span of approximately 2.5 million years, human beings have changed the face of the planet to which they belong. They have broken down and built upon, molded, reshaped and transformed every resource at hand to suit their whims and fancies.

The world we live in today is replete with man-made marvels, most of which we take for granted. I flew to Seattle this weekend and we hit some bad weather on the way. The thought of flying through a storm with zero visibility, safe from the elements of nature (and other airplanes) was humbling as well as exciting. And then I realized (on probably the 55th flight of my life) that just to be able to fly should be amazing. A metal container soaring through the skies carrying 200-odd people is a miracle by itself! Yet it was something I had never given a second thought to all this time.

This feeling of awe was further compounded by a visit to the Boeing Museum of Flight. The Concorde, super sonic jets, airplanes bigger than buildings, and some smaller than you had thought possible, space travel, micro-gravity simulated environments - all miracles within themselves, yet taken for granted by us. A person with no respect for science and the quest for knowledge has to be blind to the world around him.

But then it is us humans who also pillage and plunder till there is nothing left to take. Right beside the modern day marvels of flight we glorify war and the machines we created to kill each other. Man, the thinking animal, is still at its basest form, only an animal. We play mind games. We destroy each other and ourselves. We are arrogant to believe we are masters of our destiny and that of those who submit to our domination.

Not only do entire nations fight for power over other nations; there are also many simple men and women, leading mundane lives subjugated to the will of others. Domestic abuse in an air conditioned home is no better than in a cave. The quintessential search for a better life is defeated by ignorance and arrogance. Human beings are blinded by their own power, ruthless at times, in their wish to conquer all.

I just have to wonder, in this quest to conquer all, where do we draw a line? Where does it end?

On the way back I had the window seat with a clear view of Los Angeles as we landed. The lights spread out for miles. As we dipped closer, the brightly colored gems on black satin metamorphosed into little electric pulses glimmering on one big, neatly designed, circuit board. This circuit board, then became a little toy village with miniature houses and tiny cars, till finally the city slowly zoomed into view, larger than life.

We humans have taken what God gave us and transformed it. All that we behold is ours, for better or for worse. The world, as it exists today, is testament to the human spirit. And it still looks beautiful. I only hope we can keep it like that for generations to come.

Nature and Nurture

I have decided to never again make fun of Tuccha Kapoor. Ooops! My bad! Tusshar Kapoor. As you can see it will take me a little getting used to. Consider the following:

- He was born to a family that made his being a part of showbiz inevitable. (I mean, come on, he is Jeetendra's son, you know! What else could you possibly expect of a "star kid" these days?)
- He was born sans the good sense to stay away from being in front of the camera (and maybe follow his sister’s footsteps and do something else).
- He was also not born with a face (or body, or personality) that looked good in front of the camera and there really is little he can do about it.
- He really wants to be a "hero". You can see that from how hard he tries. It's sad, but it's true.

Given all these truths, it's obvious that God and Fate have been cruel enough with him. Why add insult to injury? So from now on, I'm going to refrain from splitting my sides laughing at him the next time I see him playing the saxophone wearing a neon orange shirt with reflector sunglasses. Actually I'm aghast that I laughed at that instead of wincing, in the first place!

But do you think it possible that if Tusshar had been born to a different family, he would have been a different person today? Or if his family had instilled more realistic expectations in him from himself, would he maybe even chosen a different life?

Or say, if my father had been younger when I was growing up or more outdoorsy with me, would I have been more athletic and sporty? Or if my mother had been a softer person, more delicate and fashionable, would I have grown up to be a more feminine person as opposed to someone who just can't care about babies or make-up or other such stuff a woman is supposed to care for?

For the most part, I consider myself to be "best buds” with most of the guys I know and "like a sister" to the few female friends I do have. Most of my girl friends are a lot like me, not usually given to frills and trivialities like make-up or beauty treatments. We're typically science majors, with just as much love for electronic gadgets as the next guy. We're happier fixing our laptops than fixing our nails.

So my question to you is, do you think such women (including me) consciously chose to be, what is stereotypically considered, less feminine or is it decided by the influences around them? Or are they just born with a "femininity quotient" if you will? And are these women really any less womanly?

Then again, is it possible for a woman to be feminine yet boyish? Can someone who enjoys the bawdy bar talk with a group of guys still very much be a woman in her behavior, attitude and appearance? Is it possible to be pretty and not be thought of as an air-head? Can a girl worry about her nails and still change a flat tire by herself? Or does it have to be one or the other?

Or is it only possible in theory but in reality a woman with the perfect balance is probably one of those rare super-achievers you often hear about but never really meet? Or are these merely stereotypes that we form in our heads, abstract and potentially highly inaccurate?

For the girls reading this - do you believe there is a difference in how people behave around you (professionally or socially) depending on how you appear? Not in the generic sense that if you're slovenly you're considered messy and probably disorganized. That's pretty much understood. But do you at times overlook your softer side to get a different response from the guys you know? Or alternatively play up the feminine wiles maybe? And does it upset you to be judged based on that?

For the guys - I know if I were to be more girly, a lot of my friends would treat me differently, like cuss less around me, not give in to crude guy talk, or expect me to "check out the hot thing at 11 o clock" with them. But how much does a girl's appearance and behavior matter in your dealing with her? Would you, say, date someone who swore and guzzled more beer than you? She could be a successful professional and perfectly presentable (just like you are) when required but when at home, she was just one of the guys. Would she be any less womanly to you?

I know it seems like I'm going through an identity crisis with another post questioning human behavior and the like so soon after my last one. For me this is, in part, an extended exercise in understanding how all of it works and if my life could be any different. The debate behind nature vs. nurture of course is an age old one with no possible resolution in sight. But I would like to know to what extent these factors affect our choices in life.

Of course, unfortunately, all this is quite useless for Tusshar, since the sax playing scene in the orange shirt and sunglasses has already been recorded for posterity. I only hope people don't judge him too harshly for it.

Of Loves lost and Lives forgotten...

I have spent the last few days contemplating different ideas for a blog post but haven't really been inspired to write, that is, till I read Unpredictable's recent post on "intent". She mostly talks about how, if you intend to, you can find the time to stay in touch with anyone. You can read my point of view in the comments section of her post; I'm not going to re-iterate them here.

I do, however, want to write about some of the people I have lost touch with over the years. These people were, and still are, very special to me and ever since I read that post I have been unable to get them out of my head. They probably will never read any of this, but if they do, this is me apologizing for disappearing on them. I still love each of them deeply and I'm going to try and contact them this weekend. I promise.

So - here are the nominees for people who would be absolutely justified in saying "Nutty, who?"

I'll start with my first real friend ever. We went to school (Class I to Class X) together. We grew up together; we were sisters for ten years. She taught me how to write ('coz her handwriting was so much prettier than mine) and addressed my letters home for all the time that we were together. She's probably known me longest amongst all the friends I ever made. Last year she was posted to Mexico City for three months. I had promised her I'd visit. A few scraps on Orkut were exchanged and then I just never called. I got an email from her last week saying she's getting married in a few months. I don't know who the guy is, or if she’s happy to be marrying him, where they will live, what her name will be after marriage, nothing. It hurts me that I have no idea about what's going on in her life. I don't even have her phone number.
To her - I'm just so sorry I got so busy in my life and took you for granted all these years. I may not make it to the wedding but you'll always be a sister to me. I have never forgotten you; just forgotten to tell you that I have never forgotten you!

Moving on...

She was the only person to be-friend me when I joined her school in class XI. She has the heart of a saint and loves like a child, completely and truly. Our families grew to be friends and we knew everything about each other, but in college we became two very different people and I admit I didn't understand her very often. It irritated me no end, to think I was friends with someone I just couldn't comprehend and I deliberately cut her out of my life, heartlessly and brutally. Today I realize I was wrong. She deserved a better friend than me. I have made some feeble attempts at getting back in touch with her but I know I need to try harder if I want her to ever trust me again.

To her - I can't say how sorry I am for the way I behaved. You irked me but you didn't deserve my behaving so badly. I know I should call you but I'm too scared and still a little hurt by our last fight. But I also miss you. I'm going to try and call you this weekend and I hope I have the courage to go through with this resolution to get back in touch with you :)

And then...

He was my first crush in college (OK! I have never admitted it this openly!!) And he has been one of my closest friends since we graduated. We actually bonded over drunk dialing each other every time we got drunk because we've never lived in the same city since college. We had a pact to call each other every time we were "wasted" and that, of course, happened quite often. I remember calling him one time, late at night, from the bathroom and whispering on phone to avoid waking up the other people in the house. It never occurred to me to not call, because, come on, we had a pact!! Unfortunately things got a little hazy in our heads with all those drunken talks and I don't know for sure what went wrong but things haven't quite been the same for over a year now. He used to read this blog a long time ago but I don't know if he still does. If he's lurking around somewhere I just want to say - I miss you. I miss those drunken calls. We've both gotten really busy (and old) in life but we know that’s not the real reason for us being this distant now. I am sorry for all our misunderstandings (and that's all I'm going to say on a public blog, we don't want to wash any dirty laundry in public now!). You're one of my best friends and I just want us to be the way we were. Also, I'm probably going to get very drunk this weekend so you better be prepared for a good ol' drunken phone conversation :)

And finally…

My BFF, my soul sister. I know you have been trying to get me to call your regularly and I always say I'm busy with work, which has been true for the last few months, but I promise to be better now. I miss you too. My life is a little crazy right now (as always, I guess) and I don't know if you'll understand all of it. But just writing this post has made me realize that times change and friends shouldn't. So I promise to not forget to call you ever again! Ok may be not ‘ever’ again, but at least not as often as I do :)

Oh! And by the way, dear reader, I started a new blog for my story writing (look in the sidebar). Now I just need a story to build itself in my head and I can start posting there too. Thank you for your support and feedback. I couldn't have done it without you!