Half Sweet n' Half Nuts

Of Loves lost and Lives forgotten...

I have spent the last few days contemplating different ideas for a blog post but haven't really been inspired to write, that is, till I read Unpredictable's recent post on "intent". She mostly talks about how, if you intend to, you can find the time to stay in touch with anyone. You can read my point of view in the comments section of her post; I'm not going to re-iterate them here.

I do, however, want to write about some of the people I have lost touch with over the years. These people were, and still are, very special to me and ever since I read that post I have been unable to get them out of my head. They probably will never read any of this, but if they do, this is me apologizing for disappearing on them. I still love each of them deeply and I'm going to try and contact them this weekend. I promise.

So - here are the nominees for people who would be absolutely justified in saying "Nutty, who?"

I'll start with my first real friend ever. We went to school (Class I to Class X) together. We grew up together; we were sisters for ten years. She taught me how to write ('coz her handwriting was so much prettier than mine) and addressed my letters home for all the time that we were together. She's probably known me longest amongst all the friends I ever made. Last year she was posted to Mexico City for three months. I had promised her I'd visit. A few scraps on Orkut were exchanged and then I just never called. I got an email from her last week saying she's getting married in a few months. I don't know who the guy is, or if she’s happy to be marrying him, where they will live, what her name will be after marriage, nothing. It hurts me that I have no idea about what's going on in her life. I don't even have her phone number.
To her - I'm just so sorry I got so busy in my life and took you for granted all these years. I may not make it to the wedding but you'll always be a sister to me. I have never forgotten you; just forgotten to tell you that I have never forgotten you!

Moving on...

She was the only person to be-friend me when I joined her school in class XI. She has the heart of a saint and loves like a child, completely and truly. Our families grew to be friends and we knew everything about each other, but in college we became two very different people and I admit I didn't understand her very often. It irritated me no end, to think I was friends with someone I just couldn't comprehend and I deliberately cut her out of my life, heartlessly and brutally. Today I realize I was wrong. She deserved a better friend than me. I have made some feeble attempts at getting back in touch with her but I know I need to try harder if I want her to ever trust me again.

To her - I can't say how sorry I am for the way I behaved. You irked me but you didn't deserve my behaving so badly. I know I should call you but I'm too scared and still a little hurt by our last fight. But I also miss you. I'm going to try and call you this weekend and I hope I have the courage to go through with this resolution to get back in touch with you :)

And then...

He was my first crush in college (OK! I have never admitted it this openly!!) And he has been one of my closest friends since we graduated. We actually bonded over drunk dialing each other every time we got drunk because we've never lived in the same city since college. We had a pact to call each other every time we were "wasted" and that, of course, happened quite often. I remember calling him one time, late at night, from the bathroom and whispering on phone to avoid waking up the other people in the house. It never occurred to me to not call, because, come on, we had a pact!! Unfortunately things got a little hazy in our heads with all those drunken talks and I don't know for sure what went wrong but things haven't quite been the same for over a year now. He used to read this blog a long time ago but I don't know if he still does. If he's lurking around somewhere I just want to say - I miss you. I miss those drunken calls. We've both gotten really busy (and old) in life but we know that’s not the real reason for us being this distant now. I am sorry for all our misunderstandings (and that's all I'm going to say on a public blog, we don't want to wash any dirty laundry in public now!). You're one of my best friends and I just want us to be the way we were. Also, I'm probably going to get very drunk this weekend so you better be prepared for a good ol' drunken phone conversation :)

And finally…

My BFF, my soul sister. I know you have been trying to get me to call your regularly and I always say I'm busy with work, which has been true for the last few months, but I promise to be better now. I miss you too. My life is a little crazy right now (as always, I guess) and I don't know if you'll understand all of it. But just writing this post has made me realize that times change and friends shouldn't. So I promise to not forget to call you ever again! Ok may be not ‘ever’ again, but at least not as often as I do :)

Oh! And by the way, dear reader, I started a new blog for my story writing (look in the sidebar). Now I just need a story to build itself in my head and I can start posting there too. Thank you for your support and feedback. I couldn't have done it without you!