Half Sweet n' Half Nuts

Does anyone have any idea how troublesome it is to have the most adorable network of friends in the world?! I mean, they're soooo tuned in to you that they just do not let you fade away into your black hole of misery should the opportunity for to do so ever arise.

Anyone reading this blog, even intermittently, will know I haven't quite been at my brightest lately. There are a lot of bloggers out there and while some just log their daily activities online, or review whatever latest trend they come across, there are the really funny bloggers who seem to be out there to make you smile no matter what. I really envy them. They find something funny to write about every time!

I am the polar opposite. All I do is ponder and brood. A lot of times I whine. My life, if seen through the eyes of this blog, seems to be one never ending sob story. Well I'm better at sounding profound (hehehe!) rather than entertaining (quit cracking up .. I'm trying to be non-funny out here!). And the last couple of weeks I have been at my damnedest lowest.

I know a lot of people get the blues and go through the dumps. Here is my advice to them. Friends are actually the panacea of all ailments. Reach out to them and you'll be surprised at how well they bolster you. They're like a bunch of life suffusing creatures who know just how to make you take your head out of your dark corner and look toward the sunshine. And if you truly believe your friends can't make everything okay .. get in touch with me! I have some really amazing friends who I know are angels in disguise! I won't mind sharing them with you!

This is my way of saying thank you! I don't know how I'd have come out of my misery if it weren't for you beautiful people out there! You're my miracle come true!

Have you ever got the feeling that there are too many people watching you? Asking about how you are, wanting to know whats going on in your life, giving advice, analyzing your mistakes and shaking their heads worrying about how you're going to do anything in life on your own?

Lately I've been feeling too... connected (for the lack of a better word)! The chat messengers are always logged in, the emails notifications are always on, the scrap notifications from Orkut are always on, I'm constantly in conversation with someone through at least one of these mediums. As a result all I do all day is sit in front of the laptop and type. If no one's online I get restless, irritable, cranky. A sense of purposelessness takes over. In short, the global village is highly addictive and is making me neurotic. To the extent that I just want to cut ties with everyone I possibly can. Retreat into a cocoon of peace and silence. Bother no one and be bothered by no one in return. Get in touch with me again. Think of stuff going on in my head, work out my problems, and just be okay with the decisions I make.

So thats exactly what I did. I stopped monitoring my Gmail, signed out of Gtalk, stopped orkutting, started staying by myself whenever I can help it. I even cleaned out the wallpaper on my laptop to a blank neutral pale blue. gone are the pictures holding memories and crowded thoughts. I'm not upset or down in the dumps. I'm perfectly okay. Maybe not too communicative. But at peace.

I don't know how long it will last. For now I'm just enjoying the peace and quiet.