Thursday, July 03, 2008
The mind wanders...
I like my name. I like the sound of it and the meaning, I like the fact that it's unusual yet not unheard of. I like that the Americans have a little trouble pronouncing it the first few times because the sound of it is alien to them, yet it's easy enough for them to get the hang of, if they try.
Being a workaholic may not be so bad after all. I like feeling like I'm the martyr. I like having to work inhuman hours so that I can feel sorry for myself and pamper myself later. Not to mention the sympathy vote I get from friends and family and the stamp of approval from the boss! But more that that I like having a job where I feel needed and useful. Am I weird?
Of course I'm weird. Everyone who is even a little normal likes to believe they're weird! How can I be any different? hee! hee!
Flirting is fun. Online, on the phone or in person, it's always fun. And, in my opinion, harmless fun. But it gets stale after a while if there is no real depth. Don't ask me to explain that. On second thoughts, I just may have ADD.
There is a pattern to my psychosis. Every time someone close to me hurts me I pull away just to see if that person will try to pull me back. Most of the time, they don't. But every now and then someone does... And leaves me surprised.
But then again, I believe some wounds never really heal completely. They leave behind scars that mar the beauty of the relationship for life. That's just how it is.
I'm in no mood to be ponderous or profound really but I can't seem to help myself. Why can't I be more humorous? Or witty? Or (while I'm at it) rich and gorgeous?!
I'm really jealous of people who can write beautiful poetry. In any language. I wish I could too. Something deep and meaningful and not trite and amateurish. Maybe someday...
Things might just be taking a turn for the better. I don't want to jinx it but everything seems to be on the upswing. Will this year be better than last year? I know it's the middle of 2008 but it's been a year since the present chapter of my life started (graduation, new car, new job, new life) and things right now are so much more stable and comfortable than they were last year. Touch wood!
I'm going to go now ...
by nutty at 9:47 PM |
7 Comments:
go get them gurl!
all the best.
Don't kill yourself over being a workaholic...if it makes you happy what the heck! But just try and chill out too.
You seem very stable...don't think I felt even remotely like this one year after I started work.
Very happy for you. Yes, sometimes one is unable to put some deep miseries behind, but for the upteemth time (I love repeating this in your comments column!) time and a strong relationship heal most misgivings!
And hey, glad you have a job. Am just out of mine and will write a post later on how I have to fight any negative feelings about having to give up my job a bit later.
Keep going. Hope you are taking enough time to travel and see the country too!
you are...virgo.....i think??.....except the poetry bit...i find it quite a waste of time...
for you, Nutty
All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above
Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.
(by Vikram Seth)
@anshul - :)
@chaitali - yeah .. it's really amazing but work is the high point in my life right now :)
@cuckoo - hey! u hv the most beautiful reason to give up your job! don't worry it'll all be perfect :)
@aee - wow! u're amazingly succinct :P i assume u meant u agreed with everything except the poetry bit? :)
@satyajit - wow! that's lovely! thank you!
I just had to add that my son loves Simon and G. Esp 'Scarborough Fair' 'Bridge...' and 'Mrs.Robinson'. Strangely, does not seem to like 'Cecelia'.
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