Friday, June 20, 2008
C'est La Vie!
She walked down the aisle in virginal white, glowing with pure joy. There was innocence in those eyes, and in that face veiled with delicate gossamer lace a blush crept up her cheeks as she shyly looked at the man waiting for her. She was the epitome of beauty, youth, grace and love. She was the bride every girl aspired to be because
That is the movies.
Closer to home and closer to reality, most weddings I have been to are just as awe inspiring. Every girl in the wedding hall is fussing over how she looks until the bride makes her grand entrance. At that moment, they all stop in their tracks to admire her. It may not be a celluloid fantasy, but everything at that moment is a dream. Of course they’re going to bitch about the color of her wedding dress and the obscene gold jewellery and the horrendous make up, after they go home exhausted from feasting their eyes on someone’s dream come true. But for that one moment, they’re simply envious.
Personally I would trade the white bridal gown and pearls for a flaming red lehenga and glittering kundan jewellery in any lifetime. But beyond the colors, the blush of the bride is the same. The hopes and fears, the love and faith, the innocence and shyness transcend borders and cultures. And no matter how much envy the bride invokes in the heart of every single girl struck breathless by her beauty every one of those girls truly wishes the best for her from the bottom of the heart. You see, we girls are big suckers for the “happily-ever-after” myth and even in our best wishes for the bride there is an ulterior motive to see the young couple happy forever. We don’t want to lose our faith in fairy tale romances.
Undoubtedly, weddings are for the bride. It is the one occasion where she the princess holding the attention of every person in the room. And if you guys haven’t figured it out yet this, this post too is all about us women. So if you aren’t bored already you may want to scram now! Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you!
A very dear friend of mine once said every single Indian girl blogger over the age of 25 definitely has at least one post whining about the pressures of being single and how or why she is just not ready to tie the knot yet. He (of course it was a guy) believed it was a self defense mechanism; apparently it is our way of crying to the world that we’re not unhappy or dissatisfied, we’re alone because we chose to be! Well this isn’t another anti-marriage brigade rant. This is more of a wistful sigh and maybe a few honest admissions of regret.
You see, I know I will never be that blushing bride. I’m not saying I’ll never get married. But there is something that makes me believe I could never be an innocent blushing bride. Aging is a reality and innocence is a fickle friend. The softness gets lost over the years somehow and no matter hard you try, independence and choosing to be alone leaves you jaded. I still hope I’ll be happy of course. But that is about it. Therefore I sigh! Wistfully!
I don’t know how many of you guessed it but this post has in part been inspired by the movie Sex and the City. It got me thinking, that if I were Carrie and I were marrying the love of my life at 40, would I really want all the pomp and show? Or would I be content with a small party of my closest friends? I think that’s how I now know that the blushes aren’t in me! And I don’t mean to be self-pitying either!
Now for the honest admissions.
The movie (just as we all expected) is about finding true love and making it work out. But it is also about friendships. It’s about strong unbeatable life long friendships that are constant and unchanging. BFF Girlfriends are definitely the best!
(Warning! What comes next is definitely going to hurt some people!)
The other thing that I realized while watching this movie was that I don’t think I can ever be a friend like that nor do I think I have any such friends. Don’t get me wrong. My friends are beautiful angels who I truly believe are sent by God to look over me. But I can't think of anyone I have known in the last 20 years of my life who has been there with me through it all the way Carrie and her friends stick with each other. And I certainly don't believe I can realistically expect any of them will be around for the next 20 either.
As I sat through the movie, and as I sit writing this post, I realized that no single friendship can be so intransient. Mostly it’s the logistics of our lives. Friends are people too, people who get busy with their lives and move away. They have every right to take decisions based on how they feel and not based on how I feel. Most importantly I need to realize is that I pin all my hopes for the joys of my life on them and when they buckle under the pressures of my expectations I’m left brokenhearted. I need to give them their space and learn to stand by myself without them.
In all I need to realize just like true love, true friendships may also be a myth sold to us by the movies. Reality is a lot more impractical. And so as I walked out of the movie I realized I may never have a fairy tale romance or a story book wedding or superhuman friends. I may even be alone right now because my beautiful friends have moved on and now live their own lives far away. But I can still be happy for the great times I have had with them. And I can be hopeful for a city hall wedding to the love of my life with just a handful of loved ones even if I’m 40!
C'est La Vie!
by nutty at 12:46 AM |
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