Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Games we play...
I met a guy. Just another guy. Nothing special about meeting him. No bells were ringing and the crowds around us did not break into song and dance. All in all, just another guy that I happened to meet at just another occassion.
A day later, he emails. A very bland, matter-of-fact email, with the usual "nice-to-meet-you" kind of lines and a bait hidden deep within to see if I respond favorably.
I know, just looking at the lines on my screen that my acquaintance with this person can move in completely different directions, solely based on how I choose to respond. If I'm polite but aloof, he'll be just another guy I met one time. If I'm light-hearted and pleasant, he might be someone I could be good friends with someday. If I take the bait and give him a little leeway, the emails will take on a whole new meaning.
I think about this guy for a minute. The email is pretty decent and not anything like "I want to make fransip with you" which is why I'm even thinking about this at all. It's well written and grammatically correct, a few punctuation mistakes notwithstanding, so he gets bonus points for that. He was pretty decent to talk to, easy to relate to, easy to get along with, from what I could make out within the 20 minutes that I had talked to him.
Maybe this could be something good. Am I attracted to him? No. Do I get warm and fuzzy thinking about him? Not a chance! Is it still worth a try? I wonder.
The deciding vote? I'm bored and there's this guy who seems like an okay person. What the heck! Why not?!
Let the games begin!
It's been three days of exchanging emails now and we've reached the stage where we're now "friends". He often makes oblique references to the possibility of asking me out on a date, presumably trying to figure out if I will say yes. Once he made an indirect request for my phone number, which I conveniently overlooked. And he continuously gives me lots of information about himself, all the good things, of course. Every email (from both sides) is always well thought out, baits are taken or carefully side-stepped, openings given and the information received is carefully analyzed.
What saddens me is that it's all a game. And considering this is the first time I'm playing this game, I'm surprisingly good at it. If I may say so myself, of course!
I won't deny that this... flirting, for lack of a better word, is a lot of fun! It definitely spices up an otherwise boring day in office. And I don't have any qualms about going along with this little act because this guy is obviously smart enough to play his part quite well, even though at times I wish he could be a little more subtle!
But is this the story I want for me? Have I lost all faith in my chances of finding love by just bumping into Mr. Right, looking into his eyes and just knowing this is it? Do I still believe that such love stories exist outside the realm of the movies?
Or are love stories really just made this way and the details simply glossed over? Is this really it?
I know this particular person may or may not be the "One". I also know if I look at every guy I meet with the intention of classifying them as a potential "Prince Charming" or not I will miss out on a lot of great relationships and experiences. Maybe I am over-analyzing this. May be this is how grown ups are supposed to be like. Maybe this is what it's like when two adults are treading on thin ice, trying to find common ground. I really don't know.
Truth is, it feels like sneaking into the kitchen in the middle of the night and helping myself to extra pudding. I know it's wrong. I know it will give me a stomach ache in the morning. I know if I get caught I'll have hell to pay. But just for the moment, it's just so good!
by nutty at 9:57 PM |
16 Comments:
Don't stop yourself! Have that extra bit of pudding...no harm. Enjoy the moment and let things happen. :)
I am sure some people do meet their partners in a fairtale manner, but it's not like that always...and it doesn't make it any less special or exciting.
I'm not sure there's a formula out there for love stories. Sometimes this incredibly interesting person is right there, and it's just coz neither of you has considered any possibility, that nothing has happened so far.
I agree with the earlier comment, just like ur ratings at a job aren't defined by process, but evaluated on results, a great relationship, as much as we may want to believe otherwise, could come out of boring acquaintances and non flirtations.
You're getting a chance at this thing, if nothing else. Why not go for it? :) Good luck, I say!
Question - how can you make punctuation mistakes and grammatical errors in "nice to meet you"
Second Q to which there is no answer yet. why do you women over-analyse things?
@@ nutty:
"Maybe I am over-analyzing this."
:) As long as the over-analysis does not take the charm away, you're good. If it does, next game.
"May be this is how grown ups are supposed to be like."
Or may be it doesn't have anything to do with being grown up. May be it is just one way people relish the experience of relationships. Think spice in a chaat. :)
@@ anshul:
"Second Q to which there is no answer yet. why do you women over-analyse things?"
You need to get hurt really bad to know the answer. :)
@chaitali - yup! yup! pretty obvious no fairy tales happening here so might as well enjoy what we can :)
@unpredictable - That's true .. it's just a matter of ends vs means ... Thanks! Luck is always welcome!
@anshul - trust me you can!! And you can get very weirdly worded emails too! without meaning to diss anyone off ... I did get addressed as " dear lady" by him in one of the emails ... a definite strike against him acc to me!
As for the over-analysis, don't mean to sound woe-begone and all but NNG is right -- it's a complete case of once bitten twice shy!
@NNG - Knowing it's a game kind of makes it more interesting actually, even if is it less pretty. It's one of the best live social experiments you can be a part of! Of course only if you know that the other person is playing it too n you're not fooling him/her! That would be wrong!
But this knowledge of how the game is played, what he's going to say next, how you're supposed to respond. . is definitely a grown up thing! I don't think naivety in a situation like this would get you anything other than a broken heart. I guess that's the cynic in me talking :)
BTW .. why have you stopped posting on your blog??
Nobody can judge you for deserving some fun. It IS a game...you just keep yourself occupied with it until someone sane/perfect drops by and decides you deserve more!
:)
A couple of things gal.
a)There is no fairytale romance.. if just looking into the eyes of a man were to decide a lifetime together, am guessing disillusionment would also be high. Every guy deserves a chance (to flirt! C'mon, we enjoy it too!) Yup, I have cooled off (otherwise interesting) men who have written stuff like "two left foots" or "you are catastrophic" (when they meant something else I guess!!) But enjoy this phase, don't dive too deep into it. See where it takes you. You gotto work on every relationship, you know that right?
b)I know there is a lot of hurt hidden not even too deep into your soul. But well, nobody can get you out of it but yourselves (w/o meaning to be rude). So work harder, party harder.. fret not, life goes on!
China man say "Build a man a fire and he warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life".
One needs to play flirt game carefully. Many time some one get burnt i hope it maybe not you =)
Generalee man like women flirt but soemtime china man see that china man friends dont know to draw line (Or circle...LOL) Girl good at drawing line...
Sweety! It looks like you are actually thinking quite a bit about him.. So no harm going ahead and giving that chance to the guy! :) And love at first sight? No sweety, there is more to it! Believe me.. Much more!
And flirting?! Yeah, its fun! ;)
So enjoy while it lasts and if it is good, just make it last longer!:O)
does he know you blog?
... dunno just thinking
you dont like dear lady? oh come on thats super cool! I use the lesser varieties though including babes, sweets, lover... and I get no hits either!
achcha story ka second part mein kya ho raha hai?
Babes, if a guy has already made to your blog, he's obviously in mind.. And knowing me, next comment should be expected.. "Go for it.. have fun.. "
Flirting is way of life.. takes your mind off certain things/people/pain.. Gets you new friends.. Trust me, there are great guys out there who turn out to be really good friends once you both have drawn lines. And that's key to it.. Drawing the line.
Do I sound too enthu? Welll.. weekend just started.. :)
@dipika - thanks! n it's not like I wasn't enjoying myself anyway :D
@cuckoo - completely agree with you! you did scare me with point 2) tho .. I'm not all that scarred and sad really!!! :(
@mr. poplatho - err.. who can ignore advice from the expert on girls! :D
@candid - more than the guy (who seems to be really nice etc etc) I'm actually more fascinated with this whole game-playing .. which is what made me blog ... the guy, unfortunately, has not been in focus really :) still fun tho!
@anshul - no he doesn't know I blog! I talked to him for like 20 min and I didn't even give him my ph no!! Unless he's one of those cyber stalker dudes (which I ser doubt) I don't think he's getting to this page anytime soon :)
and "dear lady"? seriously?! dude there is a world of difference between babes etc and "lady" :P also I wouldn't be comfortable with the level of familiarity that comes with babes on meeting a guy once n talking to him for a couple of days!
waise as an update .. abhi ke liye nothing happening :P
@soan - hehehe! like I said.. it was the whole process that was intriguing... guy itna hero hota toh blog se pehle tujhe batati na? :) n shayad itni openly uski post mortem nahi kar rahi hoti :P
@everyone - Is it my imagination or is there way too much personal information on this post?! I sincerely hope he doesn't read any of this ever!!!
baat gahri hai if you are concerned about what he reads and doesnt hmmm.... what say doc?
@anshul - hehehe! fazool mein kucch masala na daal :P bechaare ka online aise post mortem kar dia maine .. obv I don't want him to read it :P itni bhi buri nahi hu main :P
Yes, flirting is fun......but its such a lot of work!!! Why can't you gals make it easy on us for a bit and play the straight game eh?
You know, the whole me Tarzan, you Jane, lets go get some bush coffee theme?
It maybe a game, but is a charming one. Also, its quite healthy one, to increase ur wisdom.
Nice blog
Post a Comment
<< Home