Monday, January 14, 2008

Friends and Lovers


Wham! Strike!

It was the tenth frame and her third strike in a row. She hooted with joy and turned around to high five him, only to find him lost in conversation with the group of jocks bowling in the next lane discussing the merits of beer. The cheer died on her lips and she turned away just as quickly to hide her disappointment. To a stranger, they looked like any other young couple out on a date but it hadn’t been that way for years now. Today was the first time in months that they were spending time together. They weren’t all that young either, but years of releasing pent up frustrations in workout sessions kept them in good shape and they looked good.

Their marriage counselor had suggested this bowling alley as a neutral ground to re-connect with each other. They were supposed to try and make things work. This “date” was meant to bring the zing back into their relationship. She held back the sardonic laughter at the thought and went up to him. “Sweetie, you’re up next” she said softly trying to keep the smile in her voice. Then, trying a little harder, so as to not ruin the evening completely, she turned to the guys he was talking to and joked about how she was beating him hollow. He laughed with her, and without a look at the score, bowled his turn with complete nonchalance.

The lane on the other side had a group of friends obviously having fun. One of the girls had just bowled a gutter ball and her boyfriend was playfully teasing her about it. There was such camaraderie between them, as if they’d known each other all their lives. “True love”, she whispered and then scoffed at the thought. Sometimes friendship was a lot deeper than love; she knew that now. She looked back at her husband, finishing his frame and getting ready to leave. She saw the man she woke up next to every morning and tried to remember how he’d looked the first time they’d met.

It had been over eleven years ago. They had both joined as new recruits at the same multi-national bank and it was their first day at training. She was new to the city. He had been to school there. She knew no one at the training and was wondering who to go up and talk to. By the lunch break he knew all the pretty girls in their training class and had plans for pool and beer that evening with a bunch of guys who had joined with them. She was still by herself on the bus home that evening. He had invited their trainer along to play pool with them and hence got himself and his pals a ride to the bar they had decided on. She had seen him look her way briefly and had thought about him all the way back home. He’d seen her walk into class and filed her away in the little black book that he maintained in his head.

Slowly, over the next few days, she made friends with others who were in training with them. And then on Friday afternoon, their first weekend after joining, he walked up to the group of people she was lunching with and asked if anyone was interested in going dancing with him and a couple of his friends on Saturday night. Plans were made, phone numbers were exchanged and he walked away. He called on Saturday morning, saying he was borrowing his brother’s car and asking if she needed a ride. Surprised and glad (she didn’t like to drive), she accepted. He picked her up, they chatted in the car and before they knew it they were friends.

After that weekend things changed drastically for her. She got swept up in the whirlpool of his ever increasing friends circle. They became the best of friends. He would be the one who introduced her to the first guy she ever loved. She would tease him relentlessly about the innumerable girls he dated. Within days they knew each others’ life stories. There was a love that was above mere romantic fancies; a friendship so deep and true that it put true love to shame. But as all good things must, training ended and they were posted to different cities. They kept in touch, visited each other every few months. Eventually each got busy in their lives, and though the love remained, they both moved on. She changed jobs; he left the country. The visits became less frequent and eventually stopped altogether.

Then six years ago they decided to meet up again. They were both visiting the same city where they’d met, for a business conference. It was a perfect way to re-live the good ‘ol days. They hadn’t met in a little over three years. They booked rooms in the same hotel and coordinated travel arrangements. Her plane landed before his and so she had the rental car all ready to pick him up when he flew in. The instant they saw each other they knew nothing had changed. They laughed easily. He teased her about having to pick him up because he knew she still disliked driving. She laughed at his new “serious, mature” look. They talked. Right through the presentation sessions of the conference, they talked about everything under the sun. They were making up for lost time, updating each other on all that had happened to them in the last three years.

She told him about her heartbreak over the first and only love of her life. He asked her advice about this girl he had been serious about for a little over a year. She was pleasantly surprised that he’d finally found someone whom he could stay with for that long and not go wandering about. He grinned sheepishly, a little shy about his first real relationship, yet at ease with her. Because he knew she understood. And because he knew it was ok to talk about stuff with her.

After the conference they had planned to stay an extra day together before heading back into their busy lives. They planned to take a trip down nostalgia lane, eat at their favorite joint, walk the roads behind her previous hostel where they had spent many a night walking and talking about their dreams and aspirations. And finally they planned to go dancing to the club where they had hung out together the first time. At their local mall, she helped him pick out lingerie for his girl friend, giggling all the time. They were out all night, drinking, dancing, laughing. Neither remembered how they got back to the hotel that night.

The next morning disaster struck. They woke up together in his bed, with a hazy recollection of a very steamy night together. They looked at each other, for a moment devastated and ashamed. She was trying to get out of bed, wrapping the sheet around her, shy and awkward, when she tripped and fell flat on her face. He laughed softly. She looked at him and then burst out laughing herself. Within seconds they were both in splits, rolling on the floor laughing. It was all ok again.

And they left, to live their lives far, far away. Friends forever.

Six weeks later she called him, in panic. She thought she was pregnant. He flew to her that very day. The events of that day were still a little hazy to her. She remembered sitting with him at the coffee shop all day, trying to listen to him but really too stunned to feel anything. He was asking her what she thought she wanted to do. She asked about his girl friend and if he’d told her why he had come here immediately.

“Oh! I broke up with her the day I got back, I just knew it wasn’t meant to be”, was all he said.

And then he asked her if she might want to keep the baby. She didn’t know what she wanted. The test results weren’t even in yet and the home pregnancy test she had taken had been unclear. Should they be panicking and deciding things this soon? Before she could realize what was happening, he was down on one knee, asking her to marry him. She remembered thinking it was all happening too fast. She looked at him, at the earnestness in his eyes and the sincerity in his voice, and broke down crying. Yes, she would marry him.

The next morning, she found out it had been a false alarm. She informed him about it at breakfast, embarrassed and unwilling to meet his eye. He kept silent for a moment and then he said “Will you marry me anyway?” She looked into his face, bewildered. He grinned. She knew what her answer would be. She had often wondered later if they had been swept away in a moment of high emotional vulnerability. Maybe that’s what it was. Maybe it was just meant to be. Who knows?

They got married that summer. She found a job where he lived and their life started a new chapter. In the beginning it really was perfect. They had such perfect understanding. He made her laugh. She gave him that certain necessary stability in his life. They complemented each other beautifully.

And then slowly they started to change. She would get irritable every time he was charming to another girl. He would sulk every time she stopped him from spending on a whim. Neither knew when they started fighting more than laughing. Their once treasured friendship was now in tatters. Soon enough apathy set in and each got busy in their careers putting their work before their marriage. They worked hard and so they did well for themselves, but were slowly slipping away from each other.

“Let’s get back home”, he said and she snapped back to the present. “Okay”, she replied, picking up her bag and bowling shoes, following him to the car park. Last month he had left for a weekend alone at a friend’s cabin in the hills, to “get some air”. That’s when she knew they were really at the edge and as soon as he returned she had convinced him to try and save their marriage by getting counseling. This was their first “homework”. And, although he had gone along with all of it so far, she had to admit, this evening hadn’t gone too well.

That night, as he turned off the lights and came into bed, she asked “You remember that first weekend in training, when all of us went dancing? Why did you come up to our table and ask us to join your friends?”

He turned towards her and frowned.

“Why are you asking me this again now? What do you really want me to say?” he asked.

“Nothing. It was just a thought. Forget I asked”.

They were silent for a moment. And then in the darkness he said –

“I’m sorry. I know you’ve asked me this often in the past and I always gave you a lame reply. The truth is it was nothing romantic. I asked everyone in class to come. But, the scary part is I don’t know what made me call you the next day and offer you a ride. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

She smiled at his honesty. They hadn’t been this candid without screaming at each other in ages. She decided to push her luck a little further.

“When did you first fall in love with me?”

He grinned and said “Ok! Now I know that is a trick question. You want me to say the first moment I saw you, right?”

She laughed and playfully punched him.

“I’m serious. I really want to know!”

“Well, if you must know, it was that morning in the hotel room, when you tried getting out of bed and tripped. You were scurrying, your hair in tangles, face flushed. It was such a comical sight and I don’t know why but at that moment I just knew.”

She exclaimed, indignant, then laughed softly, remembering that morning.

“Do you still love me? At all?” she asked after a moment, hesitant, afraid of what he would say next.

He was silent for a long while. She thought he hadn’t heard, or maybe he’d drifted to sleep. She sighed. Sleep seemed to have vanished so she thought she’d sit out in the balcony and look at the stars, her favorite solution for her insomnia. Just as she was getting into the easy chair on the balcony he followed her out and came to kneel before her, taking her hands in his and resting his face in them. The moonlight seemed to take away the years from his face, and his eyes twinkled with star light.

“You know why I agreed to the counseling after I came back from the cabin? It’s because no matter how much we fight we never sleep apart from each other and alone in that cabin I missed you. I couldn’t sleep without you fighting me for the blanket and complaining about the room temperature. It was too silent, too empty. Much too peaceful for someone of my temperament, I’d say. You said we need to save our marriage and I agreed. But when you asked me if I still love you, I wondered if I really love you or I am just habituated to living with you. And I thought that I didn’t know the answer any more. And then you get up and walk out here, leaving me alone and I get a vision of our room, and our home, without you. I don’t like it one bit. If not wanting to be without you is any indication, then yes, I do love you deeply. Ok?”

By now she was crying openly, for all the time they had lost, for all their doubts, for all their bitterness. She bent and kissed him, her friend, her love, her husband. And she knew then that they would make it. It wouldn’t be easy but he loved her. She didn’t need anything more.

They walked back in, and went to sleep, holding each other, for the first time in a year.


14 Comments:

Blogger nutty said...

To my male readership - I'm extremely sorry for making you read this kind soppy mush that I think up :)

To everyone - Of course true to my usual self I have an alternate ending too.. tell me which you think is more apt :) Here goes --

-------------------------------------

"You know why I agreed to the counseling after I came back from the cabin? It's because no matter how much we fight we never sleep apart from each other and alone in that cabin I missed you. I couldn't sleep without you fighting me for the blanket and complaining about the room temperature. It was too silent, too empty. Much too peaceful for someone of my temperament, I'd say. You said we need to save our marriage and I agreed. But when you asked me if I still love you, I wondered if I really love you or I am just habituated to living with you. And I don't know the answer any more. That scares me. All the questions you asked me earlier, reminded me of how good we were together as friends but how it all just disappeared after we got married. It makes me wonder if we made a mistake asking for too much out of a friendship. Maybe I still love you, but do I love you as I should love my wife? I don't know. And that just isn't right. I'm sorry, babes. I wish I could say something different. But I can't."

By now she was crying openly, for all the time they had lost, for all their doubts, for all their bitterness. She bent and kissed him, her friend, her love, her husband. She knew then that he was right. And that they had to move on, without each other. It was ironic that she still knew him well enough to know he'd move out in the morning without his having to say so explicitly. But they this had one night as husband and wife before they separated in the morning.

They walked back in, and went to sleep, holding each other, for the first time in a year. And maybe, also their last time ever.

1:53 PM 
Blogger Still Searching said...

Obviously, the diehard romantic in me prefers the first one, but I dont know if one night and one thought can really change someone and their temperament, if not feelings.. so what I think happens realistically speaking is that he says he loves her, they hold each other, they wake up with a smile, but a week later, they'be both forgotten this romantic moment and the fights are back!!

Howz that for cynicism, to match my romanticism?!! Lol!

2:34 PM 
Blogger Penguin said...

I sooo prefer the first ending! And here I am, getting all misty-eyed in office. Now you're not allowed to say "Serves you right for not working!"

1:19 AM 
Blogger unpredictable said...

:) Well written, but yeah, I don't buy happy endings anymore.. so i'd probably go for end 2 ...

Btw, ur male readership can just leave no if they can't take it? You really should do more of these .. ur good at it ..

3:20 AM 
Blogger Anshul said...

ok this was GOOD
I mean real good!
I prefer the first one and lets just lets leave it at that ending you know, let each and every one of us think how things went forward.
so please even if someone presses you do NOT build up an encore or try any other ending.
If any girls does it you handle her if a guy preses you; let me know. I have my boxing gloves on.

4:20 AM 
Blogger Cool said...

was quite long.. and on coming to comments page became longer :)

and no comments:

10:21 AM 
Blogger Unknown said...

Hey woman you have an alternate career option!!!
Really enjoyed the story and yep like the others liked the first ending. Not going to analyse it any more.

8:54 PM 
Blogger nutty said...

@still searchin - you know what?! that was exactly my thought when I was writing this end!! Now why does that not surprise me? :P

@penguin - awww!! thank you!

@unpredictable - alas! :D
and I can't shoo away my readers?! I loous em! and they do stick by me .. sigh! emotional fool that I am! ;)

@anshul - hahaha! yes boss!

@cool - u read the whole thing? I'm impressed and honored! but itni himmat ki n poora padha n no comments? y so?

@chaitali - u think so? [beaming grin!] :D I'm hoping to write full time someday ... thank you!

2:27 PM 
Blogger Zee said...

but doesn't that mean he's just habituated to her??? that's not love...

5:55 AM 
Blogger Cool said...

No comments.. cos all this is fictional quite simple....

10:58 AM 
Blogger Nice New Guy said...

Your male readership loves you.

P.S. OK, it's just me.

P.P.S. btw, that main character sounds like an emotionally-imbalanced guy who wasn't loved as a child.

1:46 AM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Second one is more realistic.. First one is what we all dream of...
And I kinda sense something here.. To be taken offline :)

12:50 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

btw.. did i mention I reallly enjoyed reading it

12:50 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur too good at this...very well written..n i definitely prefer the 1st ending..

i agree with still searching, 1 night cant change so much..n her ending is maybe more realistic

9:44 AM 

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