Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Complications, Heartbreak, Lashing Out Yet Finding Something to Smile About
Over the last few weeks I have desperately wanted to write but haven’t been able to do so. It was not the lack of material, time or motivation but rather because I have been in a state of quandary. What made me doubt my writing, you wonder? Well, brace your self for this. Someone told me he thought blogging was basically for “losers” who made up for their lack of a social life and physical interaction with other human beings, by reaching out to similarly pathetic bloggers, who then wallow in each others pointless, imaginary miseries, when all that they should really do is get off their butts, away from their computer screens and “get a life”. I was enraged. I fumed and argued but there was no point really. People are entitled to their opinions. So, I regained my composure and (giving in to my tendency to brood) re-considered my life, wondering if he had a point. And this, my fellow bloggers, is when I go publicly on record and lash back. Anyone not in the mood for a long rant had better quit now because this post has two weeks worth of ranting.
I am not a loser, nor do I blog to make up for lack of a social circle. I have friends, really good friends. I love my life and I refuse to get on the defensive about how I live it. Some people vent by crying, or drinking. There are others who get their high by driving at insane speeds or jumping off buildings. People sing in the bathroom, dance to a tune in their heads or do other random things. I write. When I feel, I write. It’s the way I emote, the way I reach out to friends and strangers. I write because I love to write and because no matter what I go through, or who I am with or without, I can always write. I do not write for the comments (although they are certainly appreciated) or the readership (that’s definitely a good thing too). I write because it’s the one thing I know will get me through anything. And I refuse to let someone insult me for it.
There! I feel so much better.
I had considered de-personalizing this blog so that personal details are not out there for anyone to read with their morning coffee. There maybe some merit in a little anonymity. But then, this last week, someone I thought I knew really well hurt me so deeply I realized an anonymous readership could hardly cause me more harm than that. Recently my relationship status changed from “Single” to “It’s complicated” and I allowed myself the luxury of a vulnerability. Here’s what I learned:
· Any girl who commits a 100% to a relationship within the first month and expects to not get hurt will either prove to be extremely lucky (and would be a perfect Las Vegas traveling companion), or extremely foolish.
· Any guy who convinces a girl to commit a 100% of her self to their new found relationship and then balks at the first show of commitment on his part had better prove to be worth his weight in gold if he expects his girl to ever let him into her life again.
· Time is the only cure for heartbreak. I suppose tears would help too but a lot of times the hurt goes so deep that you want to go into denial and your eyes stay dry. It’s ok to not cry over a guy. If he was worth crying over he wouldn’t make you cry in the first place.
· Sometimes it’s a good thing you didn’t tell your friends everything.
So after the fury and the relationship issues and the heart break were drowned in hours of mindless television I finally calmed down and focused on the one good thing that I am really looking forward to.
A friend of a friend told me about the National Novel Writing Month, organized by The Office of Letters and Light (seriously!). It's an awesome idea that twenty-one lazy wannabe novelists (like me) thought up, to get enthused and just start writing. Over the last six years, people from all over the world (last year saw 79,000 participants) have signed up for this and pledged to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in exactly one month. As per the rules of the event, the novel must be started on November 1st, from scratch, though you can prepare notes and an outline as early as you like, and must end by
When I found out about this, I hemmed and hawed over the temptation of signing up since November this year is going to be extremely busy with a lot of traveling. Eventually it got the better of me and –
I signed up! I'm going to write a 50,000 word novel in one month! Or at least try, at any rate. I am officially a NaNoWriMo 2007 participant.
Phew! Of course, now all I have to do is come up with a plot. And find the time to write. Simple, really!
And so, in spite of all the heartbreak and complications in the world, I smile because I‘m going to write.
by nutty at 12:18 AM |
25 Comments:
At first I was horribly depressed, because I thought people actually thought of bloggers as losers with no social interaction!! But then, I read on and realized....yeah....I write coZ I like to write...and ppl like to read what I write...so its all cool.....
Best of luck with the novel!Huge task!! Tempted to join....but I know already I won't finish!! :)
that WAS long
I am too drunk to read it; my happy budday
anyways I am sure you have written sense ... so guj night.
will revisit.
twum Delhi kabh aarosi? (Sanskrit, I think)
:)
its all part and parcel of life :) and thats the way it is...
and people are entitled to their opion and you should not mend your ways cos of others opinion; keep writing...
best luck for the novel :)
Yes, I've heard this before too, that bloggers are for people who are weirdos and lonely people... I was enraged at first, but then I said chuck it... I have to write all these thoughts going on in my head! I have to write! Period! :))
I'm not sure what to say about heartbreak... I just hope it will work itself out... Because like you yourself said - we are good people and we deserve good things to happen to us.
And I'm tempted too... but I'm going to be travelling too, and pretty sure I should not be spending the time writing a novel instead of spending time with my family! :)) Best of luck with your novel though! The idea sounds exciting!
I dont feel bad after reading such comments about bloggers..YOu know moi one of those ever-forgiving benevolent types!!
On second thoughts.who ever said that..go to hell!! ;-P
*hugs*
*cuddle*
Now Nanowrimo, get it on! Hope to see you reach that 50,000! :)
hey nice read
i too write just for the love of writing ,nad yesit gets me thru anything and everything.
keep posting
cheers
what the.....i wrote a long comment yday! where did it go??????
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGG hug!!! and tell non bloggers to FO!!!
@bullshee - o i know I wont finish either but its worth a try!!! join!!! pleeaassee??
anshul - still waiting for the revisit :P :) mite be in delhi either within a month or end of this year ... things still quite fluid on that end ..
@cool - always the philosophical one! yes u r right ... no point trying to change coz someone says something .. which is why I'm back! :)
@still searching - yeah .. thats what I figured too .. coz this guy made me think about this stuff and my first reaction was to write about it! lol :D
about the heartbreak - o well u win some u lose some .. life goes on ..
Nonowrimo - Join!! Join!! Join!! will be fun!!
@mathew - exactly!!! lol!
@NNG - thanks :) always need as many of those as I can get :)
@aditi - thanks!
@zee - awww!!!! :( stupid blogger!
thaankk you!! hugs are always good! :)
yeah well you got most of the gust now; anyways kuch socha theme kya hoyegi novel ki; we can all chip? esp NNG and me who have in hte past helped.... kyun NNG, your teeth still show when you laugh?
I was and still am perplexed about the term "heartbreak" being used but not much said about it.
all well?
@anshul - thankfully NaNoWriMo insists all novels be written single-handedly so I won't need you two to shred my central characters .. err well .. character :D
about the heartbreak - not much to say .. some things are better left unsaid.. all's well tho so no worries .. i shall live through it :D
Dont worry this time your central charachter's mould would be preserved; so go ahead discuss it out.
I could never understand the term "sometihngs better left unsaid"; but then I could never understand anything.
Get into the Gemini and have a good long drive and a few mocktails (yeeww) on me.
Hasta Manana
First, you ve echoed my feelings to the core. Even I received those dirty comments and I did exactly what zee said.
Second, heartbreaks are recoverable. Yes. But the stigma always remains. There is no way you can remove it. Remembering forever, is the only way to forget. It is Ironical.
Okie.. we need to get out of this whatever-hppns-to-one-will-happen-to-other mode.
I hate reading about my life/ heartbreaks/thoughts/fears/happiness in your blog... If I wanted that, I would start writing again :)
enough of cribbing now...
People who think bloggers are losers are just jealous. coz they cant do so.. (read my gtalk status for more motivating line)
Best of luck for your novel. I know you are gonna rock as usual...
Here's to you, kid.
Cheers!!!!
PS: Did i make any sense??? guess not
@anshul - Genie!! not Gemini :P and I started drinking again so yaaay!!!
@sirpy - hehehe .. looks like all of us have been told rot like this so I'm not going to worry about it :) And about the heartbreak I guess you mean the scars remain forever. . and I know you're probably right but I still hope you're not :)
@another dreamer - get off your whine horse and get back to writing girl!!!! muuaaahh!
PS - not being mean to another dreamer but I just came to know about this so I thought I'd share it with everyone ... did you guys know "to crib" isn't a real english phrase/verb? I mean both British and American English don't have anything in verbs as cribbing ... its purely Indian English :D cool eh?!
daaru peene se liver kharab ho jaata hai.
Gabbar.
This comment has been removed by the author.
NaNoWriMo. I'm in. (to win). :)
Thanks for posting this.
Awesome...very cool...I hope you complete your novel. What a cool idea!!!
aha - you're back. welcome back!
So how did the first day of novel writing go??
hi
nice blog
i use to think blogging was for losers too ! , a very effimnate form of expressing yourself, but i was wrong .
its the best place to be in,
all the best with ur book writing
yo! first time here and quite an intriguing first post.
blogging for losers? sure. no problem. whatever rocks your boat. who am i to argue. leave me to my lonely, miserable life, I say!
and hey, what fun to be actually writing a novel, eh? you go, girl! all the best.
and um, personal stuff happening too, in your life. hope it all sorts out. and soon.
and.. wat an awesome blog.. y havent i blogrolled u yet.. y..
abt the non bloggers saying it.. yaa.. and how many of those fools can write..
abt the heartbreak.. i m glad.. glad to know.. its not jst me..
same pinch darling
and.. all the best.. do u need a plot?? jst write random stuff popping in ur head.. and.. say its inspired by kafka.. :).. stream of consciousness
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