Thursday, September 14, 2006
Friends Forever...
Friendships change over time. Sometimes they change so drastically that in an instant what you once felt is gone. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who has been through this .. but there are moments when one realizes that some friends are like ships that pass by night... and some friendships transient.
Who is a friend at the end of the day? Someone you can talk to about your deepest fears and craziest dreams. Someone who gives you a call the minute they just have to share something. Someone who stands by you when you make the saddest of jokes or your life's most important decisions. The drunk call in the middle of the night, the cry for help, the surprise birthday party, the unexpected hug.
Yet a friend is also just another person. With their own shortcomings, insecurities and complexities. Someone you learn to understand over time. Sometimes there are disagreements. Sometimes little habits irritate before one gets used to them. And sometimes it just doesn't work the way it should.
Any friendship could go through a rough patch. Where both know its just a phase and if we just hold on, understand the other person for a little bit longer or just keep ones cool this phase will pass and all will be well again.
But then sometimes, very rarely, there comes that one instant when everything goes overboard and there is only so much you can take. When the leg pulling becomes hurtful and the understanding vanishes. When the other person is on the opposite team and it goes beyond getting back at each other for offences possibly imagined. In a flash all that you felt for that once beautiful friendship is now a distant nonchalance. An apathy that surprises you and leaves you feeling cold. All that comes to mind at that moment is to get away. No conflict or debate can set things right again. At that time you just dont care. When a relationship goes beyond dislike or hate into complete indifference it also goes beyond the possibility of being saved.
I don't know if I'm the only one who's ever felt this way. Its against every sugar-coated idea of friendship that has been written or published ever. The fact that every friendship runs the risk of just dying if both freinds are not aware of when the other person reaches that threshold. That friendship needs to be worked at just like any other relationship. Its not just about sharing happy moments. Its about reading the other persons reactions even when you're not in the best place yourself. Its also realizing when to give up. To just stop and give the other person their space. To let them remember the good stuff. To stay away till the indifference fades away into fond remembrance. Till maybe that memory revives a long forgotten friendship.
Friendships change over time. Sometimes they change so drastically that in an instant what you once felt is gone. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who has been through this .. but there are moments when one realizes that some friends are like ships that pass by night... and some friendships transient.
Who is a friend at the end of the day? Someone you can talk to about your deepest fears and craziest dreams. Someone who gives you a call the minute they just have to share something. Someone who stands by you when you make the saddest of jokes or your life's most important decisions. The drunk call in the middle of the night, the cry for help, the surprise birthday party, the unexpected hug.
Yet a friend is also just another person. With their own shortcomings, insecurities and complexities. Someone you learn to understand over time. Sometimes there are disagreements. Sometimes little habits irritate before one gets used to them. And sometimes it just doesn't work the way it should.
Any friendship could go through a rough patch. Where both know its just a phase and if we just hold on, understand the other person for a little bit longer or just keep ones cool this phase will pass and all will be well again.
But then sometimes, very rarely, there comes that one instant when everything goes overboard and there is only so much you can take. When the leg pulling becomes hurtful and the understanding vanishes. When the other person is on the opposite team and it goes beyond getting back at each other for offences possibly imagined. In a flash all that you felt for that once beautiful friendship is now a distant nonchalance. An apathy that surprises you and leaves you feeling cold. All that comes to mind at that moment is to get away. No conflict or debate can set things right again. At that time you just dont care. When a relationship goes beyond dislike or hate into complete indifference it also goes beyond the possibility of being saved.
I don't know if I'm the only one who's ever felt this way. Its against every sugar-coated idea of friendship that has been written or published ever. The fact that every friendship runs the risk of just dying if both freinds are not aware of when the other person reaches that threshold. That friendship needs to be worked at just like any other relationship. Its not just about sharing happy moments. Its about reading the other persons reactions even when you're not in the best place yourself. Its also realizing when to give up. To just stop and give the other person their space. To let them remember the good stuff. To stay away till the indifference fades away into fond remembrance. Till maybe that memory revives a long forgotten friendship.
by nutty at 12:29 AM |
1 Comments:
i had just written a comment... which didnt get published.. not sure if this will sound the same...
...friendhip is a relation which can be a complex equation or a simple linear equation...
the only thing friendship should not have is having to work on it... but then again its us who weave the web of relations around us.. how intricate or complex we make them is upto us...
dont know if this makes sense... but maybe at somelevel it does
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